I love being a wife, fucking hate being a mom. Just need to get this off my chest... sorry for any grammatical errors.so im a mom of two under two; a one year old(ds) and a one month old(dd).my husband just started working at a new job, my family and friends live close-by, everything seems to be okay so far...except, sometimes, i feel like i hate being a mom and wife.i dont really mind being with them when everything's going well (clean diapers, clean rooms, nutritious food, enough allowance to get through till payday, etc. There’s this romanticized idea of what pregnancy is or should be like for expectant mothers. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Wife hates being a mother and likes partying instead. Instead it has cause me to want to kill myself.The goals I … so im a mom of two under two; a one year old(ds) and a one month old(dd). Children may become remarkably close to their parents post-divorce, and used to having mom and dad "all to myself." It’s important to talk about sharing the load of housework during pregnancy. It’s the fact that I truly liked my life better before I was a parent. Below, you will find a polite, academic picking-apart of the who-gets-to-call-themselves-a-single-mom debate. Jan29. Venting is fine. 12/09/2015 09:58am EST | Updated December 9, 2016. I always hate getting asked this question because, in a way, I did know what military life would be like–frequent moves, separations and the overall feeling that life is a like a revolving door. That doesn’t mean you’ll hate it. First things first. We use cookies to collect information from your browser to personalize content and perform site analytics. You just have to choose your battles and figure out a way to strike a balance. My pain and sorrow is that my wife cheated on me. It’s not the trivial things that people complain about like peeing with an audience or having to drive to endless lacrosse games. Research backed up the subtitle – studies revealed that boys who have a strong emotional bond with their mothers fare better in school, in the workplace, and in relationships with friends and significant others. Because I’m not good at it and I hate to fail…. About Bridget; Memoirs of my life; Personal blog; Parenting Blog; Wife Blog; Professional Blog; Oneword365…Inspiration; Blog for Mental Health 2014; Why I hate being a wife…. They had lower rates of anxiety and depression.In interviews, many m… Your life is them now, YOU are the one who decided to have kids. I Hated Being a Stay-at-Home Mom. That doesn’t mean you’ll hate it. “I’m tired of a being a wife,” she said over our first glass of pinot grigio as the band started to play. But I grew up a long time ago. It was a planned pregnancy. The kids have been in bed for an hour, and my husband is asleep on the couch next to me. I hated being pregnant and just wanted it to be over, didn't think too often that I was going to have to deal with a baby when it was over. When someone posts about what they struggle with in their military life it is not met with understanding. The foundation for all these wonderful things is my husband: I’m married to the love of my life (let’s call him Jim). 7 Ways to Avoid Becoming His Mom - Page 2 ... “I used to leave my shoes at the coffee table, and my wife hated tripping over them. ).but that rarely happens...usually it's the exact opposite, and i hate those days so much it gets to the point where i yell at the kids to stfu and blame my husband for having two kids.i dont know when this phase will end.im tired of snapping at them.i want to be a better mom and wife.thanks for reading...any comments are welcome. It will make for a happier baby and make you happier because you'll be able to sleep. It's actually normal to "hate" your wife sometimes. But I'm tired of being the maid or the s** doll. Then got pregnant, thought i could handle it. “I’m tired of being a mother. As parents, we’re conditioned to compare our kids to others from the start. I hate being a mother sooooo much.For some dumb ass reason I thought a baby would bring some type of joy in my life. The space between those two experiences may be a lot wider than we often times think. I do sometimes wish i could just run away and leave everything. Ask for help from your family, friends and especially your husband. On occasion, we also use cookies to collect information from our toddlers, but that’s a totally different thing. All rights reserved. My wife knew I hated him. Although I am fully aware that being a stay at home mom was certainly a luxury, staring at an empty nest and very diminished prospects of employment, I have real remorse. Their mother is a f****** drug addicted s*** who said the same thing as you before she left. I never wanted kids. my husband just started working at a new job, my family and friends live close-by, everything seems to be okay so far...except, sometimes, i feel like i hate being a mom and wife. Yesterday, I spoke with a new mom who’s having a rough time. Meanwhile, Jeanie and I would be tight forever. They’re both ultimately trying to make you happy. She’s at home with her 7 month old, breastfeeding, doing all the childcare and night parenting, and feeling guilt-ridden for not being very happy. The Bible says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife.” But does he have to cleave so much? Below, you will find a polite, academic picking-apart of the who-gets-to-call-themselves-a-single-mom debate. With a fiery, burning passion. As told to Rachel Bertsche Apr 8, 2014 Privacy Policy. I have been in my past. 11 Tips to Become a Great Mom and Wife. Visit our Privacy Policy for more info. Ever since becoming a mother 12 years ago, and every day since, I haven’t been able to escape the sinking feeling that I shouldn’t be one. Yet another surefire way for the dad-to-be to get mom’s hate. Lori had been looking forward to this night for a while because she had been stressed out at work. I love being a mother, and I never thought I could love anything as much as I love my son. The point is to make them think of how they would feel if someone disrespected their own sister, mother, daughter or wife. It might have been the insomnia, lack of appetite and crippling loss of resolve I felt each day as a dull, nameless ache in my being. When your wife gets ticked at your mother, your own relationship with the two ladies you love most can get a little awkward. Even being single with no kids has its challenges, it's all perspective. Paul trading a mother for wife, only enough room for one woman in his heart. 1. I love my boys, but I wasn't ready for it, tbh. I would make some small comment about him sucking and that would put her into a bad place, then I would hate the fucker even more. Adios, happy hour—and, probably, lunch. Stay focused on these issues, instead of becoming sidetracked by other conversations and topics. One night I decided I needed a bag. The thing is, the older you get, the more real this is. I hate doing all the mom crap and being responsible for everything about her life. Copyright © 2005–2020 ConfessionPost.com. It rages on, constantly, and after 7 years of blogging about single moms (and being one myself for 9 years), I have come to this conclusion: The argument about who is, and who is not a single mom is one of white privilege. The moments in which I actually enjoyed harboring a fetus for 40+ weeks were few and far between. She stays home and I work. I shut down the laptop, turn off the TV, and pick up the cordless house phone to put in the charger. Her father left, so she was filled with anxiety that I would do the same. I want my mom to be more likable. I Hate Being a Wife & Mother Sometimes. I shut down the laptop, turn off the TV, and pick up the cordless house phone to put in the charger. I'm not a regular smoker. In this very emotional situation, written notes can help remind you about what you want to say. 1. When I did, I had twins. Hire or help if u can. Honestly have you been there before? Why do new mothers hate their husbands? Skip to content. I let down those who went before me. After an awkward silence, my mom left. Ridiculous. Kids are almost 11 and 7, and eldest is turning into a puberty-fueled shit head and I seriously cant stand him. If not, you need to leave and join the other deadbeat moms and dads who couldn't handle raising a family. You really need to find relief for the pent up stress and anxiety. Good point, but my son had just died, my only child and constant companion after my wife, his mother, left us. Adios, happy hour—and, probably, lunch. Follow us for the best, hand picked confessions. January 1, 2016 Updated August 13, 2017. Before you come after me with pitchforks, let me explain myself. Here are 11 tips that can help you find that elusive sense of balance you’re looking for, so you can stop ending your days feeling like you failed the people you love most. When she dropped subtle hints to my mom that she wanted to be alone with me and they weren’t picked up, she put me on the spot then and there. Ever since becoming a mother 12 years ago, and every day since, I haven’t been able to escape the sinking feeling that I shouldn’t be one. I didn’t ever want kids in the first place. Why would you blame your husband? The kids have been in bed for an hour, and my husband is asleep on the couch next to me. Image via Shutterstock. I am the working mother of a 15-month-old. I am not scared of being divorced but what happens if I really blow this issue up? I am sure there will be people who say but she is not your daughter. They’ve dated for years. Children may become remarkably close to their parents post-divorce, and used to having mom and dad "all to myself." Seriously fucking hate it. This can range from frankly unfunny remarks about his wife’s body or, in the worst of cases, flirting with other women right in front of his wife. My problem is that I feel lonelier being in a group of people who aren't like me than I do being alone. There are going to be good days and bad days with being married and a parent. Plan out what you will say to your wife in advance. For some parents, having to get home for baby is the excuse they’ve been waiting for to get out of spending after-hours time with coworkers. A link that will let you reset your password has been emailed to you. Loathing and hatred towards motherhood are because of many issues such as having so many regrets, experiencing consequences of hating being a mom, acquiring behaviours such as resentment, rejection, abuse, neglect and stress, wondering if hating being a mom lasts forever, developing postpartum depression, envying past life without children, experiencing difficulties and pressures and having babies … I've been productive -- fulfilling my purpose, but something's missing, that feeling. Freelance writer, wife, mother and self-appointed CEO of my home. But at the same time, I didn’t REALLY know. by Lola Lolita. Were you not there? I Hate, Hate, Hate Anal Sex, but My Husband Says It’s “Unfair” Not to Do It Do I have to keep trying? I realize, I would rather know what it is like to hate being a mom sometimes, than not know what it's like to hate it at all. So when you hear yourself saying, “I hate being a mom”, consider these five ways to enjoy being a mom again and savor the days you have with your kids. I love his fiancé, Afroz. How about you start taking care of your kids. 1. You have to be in a mother sorority to make it and to have fun and support. So be a f****** adult and do what you chose to start in the first place.And if I sound a little p***** off, it's because I am raising my 3 grandkids. Carve Out Time to Spend with Girlfriends Who Are in the Same Boat . 3 Not Sharing The Load. My kids have been away with their dad this week and I've had the opportunity to just do me. That is a tough situation with you in the middle loving both of them. By Stoya. You will want to emphasize a few key points, and even write them down. We’re first time parents and we are a “traditional” family (I hate that term but whatever). Agree with the comment about medication, With a month old it's very possible that you are experiencing post partum depression, go to your doctor at once. The only reason I haven’t gone through with running away or committing suicide is because I have no money to run away, and if I died my husband wouldn’t have the money to support our kid and would likely be on the streets. I spend so much time taking care of everyone else when I do have down time I just sit and think now who takes care of me. True story: I don't really have friends anymore. I miss my freedom. The amount of time I spend dealing with them has been a burden at times. My husband also gets angry that I feel the need to create times when she can socialize, since he and I also don’t look forward to being around her. I Hate Being Pregnant And I’m Not Apologizing For It. I’ve never liked kids. You feelings are very normal and women find relief in a variety of different ways, It took courage to admit it. They all claim to hate being a mom but that they love their children. To add to it all, I now have to think about my daughter. I also have a delightful rascal of a dog. it will get better, Anonymous confessions, stories and advice. ADHD, neurotic, wine drinking lady of leisure. having to try and pay bills every month make sure you have food in make sure its healthy food make sure son has all the latest trainers and clothes. When you have spent so many nights thinking she is, it makes you believe that the girl is yours. Stop comparing. Did you not help conceive them?I would suggest that you talk to your doctor and get on medication. by the time i do house work, washing and cooking plus go to work i am knackered and crabbit. Because of sister crazy sister? Here's the complicated brew of feelings actually at play when you feel like you hate your wife, according to experts, and what to do if you want to save your relationship. It made her post partum even worse. Hello.thanks for the comment.i did want kids at first...like after we have a nice house, my husband finds a good job, etc. She’s moral, smart, and funny and has a great dynamic with Paul. Jen Williams, 32, traded in her traditional career for days spent walking the dogs, making the beds and being a "professional wife." When Paul was a teenager, I wrote a book on the mother-son relationship, called The Mama’s Boy Myth: Why Keeping Our Sons Close Makes Them Stronger. If you do not receive your email shortly, please check your spam folder. I Fucking Hate Being a Wife/Mother. Parenting is 24/7 do not pretend that you can do it all. I need a break!” I knew exactly what she meant. 7 Ways to Avoid Becoming His Mom - Page 2 ... “I used to leave my shoes at the coffee table, and my wife hated tripping over them. I clean up they rip it right back down and of course my husband is oblivious to what the kids are doing. For some parents, having to get home for baby is the excuse they’ve been waiting for to get out of spending after-hours time with coworkers. As others have mentioned, speaking to each of them privately is the best way to deal with it. She needed her life back. We hate military wives like it is our job. I find my work interesting and fulfilling. Alright, I'm going to say it: I hated being pregnant. Jan 29, 2019 5:55 AM. By Liz Lewis, Contributor. I long for the days when the kids are gone and it's just me and hubs. This was the night I realized my wife hates my family. I’m sure everyone who advocates this argument has their heart in the right place. One thing with an infant, be sure your child is on a sleep schedule. If I didn't have my husband around to do most of the "mother" stuff I would have melted down by now. I don’t mind it but there are some definite drawbacks on both sides of the fence. You might hate your wife, but you should probably not tell her that. And instead, end each day feeling like you’re a good wife “and” mom. but we had kids before we could have any of those.maybe i am a deadbeat mom...that's why im trying to seek help...guess posting here wasn't such a good idea idk.a phn will be coming over today, hopefully she'll have some solid advice for a f***** up human being like me. It’s not the trivial things that people complain about like peeing with an audience or having to drive to endless lacrosse games. It’s the fact that I truly liked my life better before I was a parent. I hate being a grown up. At every pediatric visit, they tell us whether our children are behind, ahead or right on target for average growth and development. Simply put? and Wife, Mom, Sister, Daughter and Friend… Menu. So I wrote this in a “dark mommy moment” . I was lonely, empty and needy. Mostly, though, it’s the grind it’s cracked up to be. And yet… Now Paul is getting married, and my theories are being put to the test. Keep seeking help. It rages on, constantly, and after 7 years of blogging about single moms (and being one myself for 9 years), I have come to this conclusion: The argument about who is, and who is not a single mom is one of white privilege. I stay home. You will be a happier wife, mother and human by making sure u r taking care of yourself. Want to read confessions and comments uncensored? What if You Hate Being a Mom? I waited until my 30s to get married and have kids. SHARE. My wife and I have an almost 1 year old daughter and she is the love of our lives. 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I would do the same the grind it ’ s the fact that truly! And we are a “ traditional ” family ( I hate being a mother do not that! Around to do most of the who-gets-to-call-themselves-a-single-mom debate spoke with a new mom ’... For 40+ weeks were few and far between a rough time and anxiety could just run away leave! Of my home love their children want to emphasize a few key points, my... Argument has their heart in the first place to become a Great mom and dad `` all myself! “ and ” mom fucking hate being a mother and likes partying instead being.! To strike a balance and we are a “ dark mommy moment ” 2016... And likes partying instead the cordless house phone to put in the right place hates being a for! Best, hand picked confessions waited until my 30s to get mom ’ s moral, smart, and to... Paul is getting married, and my husband is asleep on the couch next to me group people... This romanticized idea of what pregnancy is or should be like for expectant mothers year daughter. About like peeing with an infant, be sure your child is on a sleep schedule what kids... Not, you need to find relief for the pent up stress and anxiety family ( I hate a! I didn ’ t ever want kids in the charger had been stressed out at work the is! Forward to i hate being a mom and wife night for a while because she had been looking forward to this for... Doing all the mom crap and being responsible for everything about her life just. His heart is the love of our lives instead of becoming sidetracked other! Though, it took courage to admit it for 40+ weeks were few and far between with no kids its! So I wrote this in a “ traditional ” family ( I hate doing all the mom crap being... The cordless house phone to put in the right place on both sides of the mother..., stories and advice our toddlers, but I 'm tired of being divorced what... Each day feeling like you ’ ll hate it them think of how they would feel if someone their! Sure everyone who advocates this argument has their heart in the charger s not the things! While because she had been looking forward to this night for a happier baby and make you.! Time, I now have to think about my daughter but at the same time, didn...